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if u dont think i’d do some fucked up shit for concert tickets then u are dead wrong 


When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit. 



My grandma would always x out people in her yearbook and write “Deceased” when one of her high school classmates died. We often found it morbid. Grandma wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.

That’s not a yearbook.

That’s a hit list.


I find it crazy how any of us can die at any moment yet we live our lives always planning for the future



the 7 y/o boy who lives next door doesn’t want to go in the house to bed and i just heard his dad use the old “you live under my roof, you live by my rules” and the kid just shouted back “im not under your roof im under the sky and thats god’s roof and he wants me to play out for longer!”

i can’t stop laughing.

update: now he’s scootering down the street singing ‘we didn’t start the fire’ while his dad chases him



someone’s probably going through a horrible traumatic life changing or damaging experience as you’re reading this

i dropped my toast and it landed peanut butter side down so i feel this post so hard right now